Draco Malfoy, private.
by Silver8
Summary: Did you think that pointless, random inner monologue was limited to adults? Ha! You were WRONG. Join now Draco Malfoy, The Boy Who Sneered, in his possibly most private moments…


Draco Malfoy, private.

***Draco's inner monologue at the restroom***

Ooooff.

*very very VERY relieved sigh*

That was a near thing.

Sod McGonagall. She made me run for this.

_Honestly._

When I say 'I need to go to the toilet' then I MEAN that I need to go there.

Immediately.

No questions asked.

No obstacles like _'You had enough time before the lesson, Malfoy.'_

Blah, blah.

I mean, _really_… is that woman so dumb or does she take a perverse pleasure to act like an idiot?

Everyone must obey when the nature calls.

*grins*

I put that very diplomatically, didn't I?

Go me.

Anyway, I still claim that McGonagall should not be allowed.

She's not natural.

No preferences. No pet students. Absolute fairness.

Now tell me, is this normal?

Most decidedly not.

Inhuman.

Maybe she's… what do the Muggles call it again?

Ah, yes. Sybohg. 

(A/N: Draco means cyborg, in case you haven't guessed.)

What a stupid name.

Oh, dear. When have these toilets been repaired for the last time?

Not in this century, that's for sure.

Thanks heaven there are no ghosts like Moaning Myrtle in here.

Imagine someone watches you while you are…

Eurgh.

Damn. Can ghosts make themselves invisible?

Maybe Myrtle is watching me right now.

Gotta get out of here.

At once.

Shit. Literally, too.

I can't go yet.

But the idea with the ghosts is truly disturbing. Any of them could be watching me right now.

Voyeurs.

What a pity that Father isn't school governor anymore. Then I'd have him ban all the ghosts from Hogwarts.

After all, they are totally useless.

Take Peeves, for instance.

Does his existence have a purpose save the one of annoying everybody else around him?

No.

Okay, perhaps the Bloody Baron isn't all that useless.

(I would certainly never tell him even if he was.)

He scares those little stupid first-years.

Hee hee. They always look at him as if he was some kind of horrible monster.

But he isn't a monster. A very bad-tempered, sadistic and remorseless spirit, maybe.

But a monster? No.

The Grey Lady is as good as non-existent, anyway. You almost never see her. And I haven't got the faintest clue what her purpose of being is, either.

And if Binns was banned from Hogwarts, I bet no-one would even notice, granted that we wouldn't get a new teacher.

After all, it doesn't matter whether Binns is in the classroom or not. Everybody does what they want to. 

Honestly, that man –no, wrong, that ghost has no teaching qualities whatsoever. A five-year-old Muggle would be better than him.

The Fat Friar is probably the least useful of all of them. He's disgusting. You can even see ghost-beads of sweat on his bald head.

Eeew.

I do hope my immaculate and dashing appearance will remain the same if I ever become a ghost.

Oh, and there's also Nearly Headless Nick, that fool.

Keeps taking his head _nearly _off and putting it back (Please notice the emphasis on 'nearly'.) and thinks he's so cool because nobody else can do that.

Idiot.

And the Gryffindors think they are so cool because he's their House ghost.

Idiots.

All of them are weird and act incomprehensibly.

Mudblood Granger, for example.

She studies so hard that I wonder when the steam will start coming out of her ears.

But what does she study for?

By the time she graduates, the Dark Lord will have his full power back again and he will execute her before she can even send away her first job application.

So why does she bother?

Everybody praises her cleverness, but in my opinion, this shows that she's not very bright.

It's the same with her hair. Why has she even bothered to start to use that Hair Potion?

It looks weird. It's _straight_.

Yeah, I noticed that. But only because her hair is so slimy now. 

Certainly not because her beautiful features became much more visible.

After all, I am not supposed to be concerned about the change of looks of a Mudblood.

I am a Malfoy.

Hm. Somehow, that last sentence hasn't sounded so proud and arrogant as it should have.

I'm getting old.

Can't even muster the proper Malfoy haughtiness anymore.

I'm a failure.

Wait. What was that? A failure? ME?

Certainly not.

Weasley is a failure.

He and his family are a disgrace to all the pure-bloods. The worst thing is that they don't even know it.

Ignorant, that's what they are.

Come to think of it, Weasley wouldn't be all that bad if he controlled his temper better,

 if he wasn't so overgrown but a little shorter,

 if he hadn't those horrible freckles

and if he had darker hair.

Possibly a different eye-colour as well. 

I have never liked blue. Or brown, for that matter.

In short, he wouldn't be so bad if he was like…

AAAAHH!

This can't be happening.

This is not true.

These thoughts can't be from me.

And they most decidedly aren't! 

It's this place.

Makes me think horrible, awful things.

Bad vibes or something.

Forget Voldie-moldie.

THIS is where evil resides.

Gotta get out of here!!

***end of inner monologue***

If you detected some parallels to Lucius' inner monologue, don't be surprised. Remember… like father, like son. Family bonds are not to be denied. ;-)


End file.
